Does an executive coach need to be a role model?

I had a client recently tell me that they thought of me as a role model, and it set alarm bells ringing.

I don’t have Instagram, TikTok or Facebook, but I’m obviously aware that a lot of the content on there is seeking to provide ‘hacks’ and to give people the ‘secret to happiness’. These can have some great messages like eat healthy food, do some exercise, get more sleep etc etc. But as a coach, I don’t think that my role is to showcase a lifestyle for other people. I’m not a PT and I’m certainly not an ‘influencer’.

I like to think of coaching as becoming a human mirror that allows the client to view their choices and decisions from an alternative perspective. It should challenge assumptions and confront the client with themselves. Of course, I am here to support and help along the journey, but ultimately how they choose to live their lives should be divorced from how I choose to live mine.

Pacesetting leadership is where the leader sets and maintains a standard for others to live up to. It has it’s pros and cons as do all leadership models. But for me, the coaching role is not a leadership one in that guise. It is providing others with the time and space to reflect upon their own leadership styles and progress along their personal journey to become the best version of themselves. I would be appalled if a client was aiming to become the best version of me.

Perhaps I am trying to avoid taking on the responsibility of setting a high enough standard for others? But I don’t think so.

My clients come from all walks of life. It would be impossible for me to showcase a lifestyle that is appropriate from them all, so I choose to live a life that should have no bearing on how my clients live theirs. In previous posts I have talked about what I like to do, and how I see things. But I want to be very clear – this is not an advertisement of a lifestyle for others.

I live my life based upon my own metrics of value and success. I make countless mistakes daily and strive to learn from them and avoid repetition.